i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize