If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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