we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize