If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize