If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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