Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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