I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize