were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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