No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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