Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to make out with him forever
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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