i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
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I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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