I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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