Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
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I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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