The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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