Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize