Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize