Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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