I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize