whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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