I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize