I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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