I think my fart just growled at me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
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I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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