it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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