I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He has the fingertips of a God
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