I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize