I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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