So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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