somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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