1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize