he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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