Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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