should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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