Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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