yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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