Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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