She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize