im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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