the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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