I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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