So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize