Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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