I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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