we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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