Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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