marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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