My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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