God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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