lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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