Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize