that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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